Two and a Half Men Season 7 poster

Two and a Half Men

Season 7

22 episodes · premiered Sep 21, 2009

Charlie's romantic past catches up to him, Alan's financial woes deepen, and Jake's teenage years bring a new level of mischief and mayhem.

Where to watch Two and a Half Men

  1. E1 818-JKLPUZO

    Sep 21, 2009 · 21m

    Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

  2. E2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation

    Sep 28, 2009 · 20m

    When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

  3. E3 Mmm, Fish. Yum.

    Oct 5, 2009 · 19m

    Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

  4. E4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

    Oct 12, 2009 · 20m

    Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

  5. E5 For the Sake of the Child

    Oct 19, 2009 · 21m

    Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

  6. E6 Give Me Your Thumb

    Nov 2, 2009 · 20m

    Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

  7. E7 Untainted by Filth

    Nov 9, 2009 · 22m

    Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

  8. E8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

    Nov 16, 2009 · 20m

    While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

  9. E9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

    Nov 23, 2009 · 21m

    While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.

  10. E10 That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"

    Dec 7, 2009 · 20m

    Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.

  11. E11 Warning, It's Dirty

    Dec 14, 2009 · 19m

    Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.

  12. E12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

    Jan 11, 2010 · 22m

    Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

  13. E13 Yay, No Polyps!

    Jan 18, 2010 · 20m

    Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

  14. E14 Crude and Uncalled For

    Feb 1, 2010 · 21m

    Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

  15. E15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

    Feb 8, 2010 · 22m

    Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

  16. E16 Tinkle Like a Princess

    Mar 1, 2010 · 21m

    Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

  17. E17 I Found Your Moustache

    Mar 8, 2010 · 21m

    Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

  18. E18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day

    Mar 22, 2010 · 21m

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

  19. E19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

    Apr 12, 2010 · 18m

    Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

  20. E20 I Called Him Magoo

    May 10, 2010 · 21m

    Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

  21. E21 Gumby with a Pokey

    May 17, 2010 · 21m

    Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

  22. E22 This Is Not Gonna End Well

    May 24, 2010 · 21m

    Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.